Coffee Shop Etiquette

Everyone has little things that bug them about their jobs, it's just inevitable. Having been a barista time and time again, there are a few things that make me twinge a little bit. Now I know not everyone will get the chance to be a barista in their lives, however I believe there are some things that everyone should know especially if you're an espresso fiend and living here in Seattle basically where the coffee fiasco originated. So I have compiled a list of dos and don'ts for ordering your favorite drinks (and pastries too!). Take it to heart, but also with a grain of salt. It's meant to be humorous.

Although cafes differ, here are a few standards that you will find in most of them that you should know when ordering drinks:
1) Short = 8 oz, tall = 12 oz, grande = 16 oz, veinte = 20 oz
2) Americanos work like this:
short = 1 shot, tall = 2 shots, grande = 3 shots, veinte = 4 shots
Any other drink with espresso (latte, mocha, etc.) work like this:
short = 1 shot, tall = 1 shot, grande = 2 shots, veinte = 3 shots
3) Americanos and drip coffee are served with some room for cream.
4) Lattes, mochas, chais (anything with milk) will be made with whole milk unless otherwise specified.
5) If you really want to impress your barista, here is the correct order in which to say your order:
a) if it's decaf or split (if it's regular you don't have to say anything), b) iced (again, if it's not iced you don't have to say anything), c) size (ALWAYS SAY THIS), d) milk preference (if you want whole milk, shh (see Standard #3)), e) flavoring (only if wanted), f) finally the name of the drink, g) extras (if you like foam, or don't, if you want it extra hot, whip cream, stuff like that)
AND for all those who have always wondered (like me before I became a barista)
6) A latte is about 3/4 milk and 1/4 foam. A cappuccino about is 1/4 milk and 3/4 foam.

Now that you have studied your standards and know your stuff, here are your dos and don'ts:

Do...
...tell us what size drink you want. Seriously, most stores will have at least 3, if not 4, sizes to choose from. So if you are ordering a drink, please don't leave the size out. It's annoying.
...tell us if you want it for here. Most of us baristas are on automatic pilot (especially having to be up so early) so when you order something, your pastries are going in a pastry bag and your drinks in a cardboard cup. If you wanted it on a plate or in a mug, you should have said so. We can't read your mind.
...be specific. If you want a cookie or a muffin and you notice that there are 6 different kinds of cookies or muffins, don't make us ask you which one. Saying a kind or even pointing to it works better and takes less time.
...tell us if you want whip cream on your mocha or hot chocolate. The standard would usually be that whip is always included in both of these drinks, but too many people don't want it these days that you need to specify otherwise you're probably not going to get it.
...tip. You tip your bartender right? Usually $1 per drink? I've also been a bartender and I can tell you it's harder to make a mocha than a rum & coke. Especially one with a pretty foam Christmas tree on top. Just a suggestion...

Don't...
...say "coffee" if you mean latte or americano. Coffee to a barista is drip coffee. So if you come to us and say "I want a coffee" you're going to get a drip coffee and we don't want to hear it if that isn't really what you wanted. Also we'll be annoyed cause we'll have to ask you what size (refer to "Do #1).
...order a cappuccino if you don't know what else to get. If you've never ordered an espresso drink before I wouldn't suggest this one. Just because it's the most well known name, doesn't mean it's the best.
...order a single/double chai. Chai comes in sizes, not shots. It's half chai, half milk. So if you want one, just tell us what size you want.
...order a double tall americano, single tall latte, etc. Know you're drink and how it's ordered (see "Standard #1, 4).
...start your sentence with "Can you make..." We probably can. Just order and if we don't have something, I will gladly suggest an alternative.
...be ashamed of your drink order, just order what you want. If your favorite drink is a split shot, iced, grande, 2%, sugar-free almond, latte with one raw sugar and an half an inch of room, you can order that. If the barista complains, it means they're stupid and can't make the drink. Okay maybe not, but especially if it's slow, we like exciting drinks. Plain lattes are boring.


Alright, now that you have learned all of this, you will be an expert at coffee shop etiquette and make your local barista very happy!!